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TEACHER: How can you know
whether a monkey is a male or a female?
STUDENT: Easy. If you see
a monkey, throw a banana. If he eats, it's a male. If she eats it, it's
a female.
The Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak, the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair and the American President, George Bush, were having a meeting. George Bush was seen touching his ear and murmuring frequently. "What are you doing?" the other 2 leaders asked him. "Nothing. This is just a new technology from my country which allows me to communicate with my advisors back home," replied George. Then, Tony was seen touching his throat and murmuring frequently. "What are you doing?" the other 2 leaders asked him. "Nothing. This is just a new technology from my country which allows me to talk to my relatives back home," replied Tony. Hosni was embarrassed. Everyone had his own technology except him. There is no new technology in his country. He had to do something. Hosni Mubarak suddenly collected all of the papers, documents and maps, put them in his mouth and swallowed them immediately. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!" the other 2 leaders were shocked. "Nothing. Just sending a fax to Egypt."
George:
My wife read “The Three Musketeers” and
she gave birth to 3 children. Bill:
My wife read “Famous Five” and
she gave birth to 5 children. Hassaballah:
Oh my God! My wife is reading
“Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves!”
What are the 4 steps
of putting an elephant in a fridge?
1. Open the fridge.
STRANGER: It's better for your health to leave your window opened. You let in fresh air. PERSON: Why, are you a doctor? STRANGER: No, I am a thief.
Once there was an American guy waiting in a desert for a taxi to send him to the White House. A taxi driver saw him. Taxi driver: Oh, no! He is an American! He will talk a lot." The American entered the taxi. The taxi driver decided to tell him a riddle to keep him quiet.: Taxi Driver: "He is the son of my father and mother but he is not my brother. Who is he?" The American thought of an answer to the riddle. After 4 hours, when the journey ended, the American did not find the answer. American: I give up, I don't know the answer. Taxi Driver: The son of my father and mother and is not my brother is ...me American: Aaah! That is quite clever! The American went to the White House and met all of the members of the American Congress there. American: I will ask you a question, if you don't answer it, I will become the President of the United States of America! People: What is the question? American: He is the son of my father and mother, but he is not my brother. Who is he? Everyone started thinking. Some of them started making a research. But no one found the answer. People: We give up! Tell us the answer! American: OK! The son of my father and mother and is not my brother is..... the Taxi driver!"
George: I have a plan to run away from prison! Bill: What is it? George: We punch the guard and run away. When George and Bill went out, they didn't find a guard. George: Oh no! The plan failed!
An American man told an English man," I have a car, so I am much better than you!" The English man thought for a while, then he bought a car and said, "Both of us have cars, so we're equal." The American man bought a plane and said, "I have a plane and you don't, so I'm better than you!" The English man thought for a while, then he bought a plane and said,"Both of us have planes, so we're equal." The American man bought a cat and said, "I have a cat, so I am much better than you!" The English man bought a cat and said,"Both of us have cats, so we're equal!" The American man thought for a while and said," Ahaaa! I am much better than you!" "Why?" "Because my neighbour is an English man and your neighbour is an American man!"
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