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bulletWhy do roaches like to live in other people's homes?
bulletBecause they don't have to pay rent.

bulletWhat does Christmas have to do with a cat in a desert?
bulletThey both have sandy claws.

bulletWhat is an owl's favourite subject?

bulletWhy shouldn't you put an ad in the paper if your dog is lost?
bulletBecause dogs can't read.

bulletWhat is a chimps favourite snack?
bulletChocolate chimp cookies.

bulletHow does a basket ball player stay cool?
bulletHe stands by a fan.

bulletWhat do you get when you cross a werewolf with an octopus?
bulletA fur coat with a lot of sleeves.

bulletWhat word begins with e and has only one letter in it?

bulletWhat do you call a dismal dog?
bulletA grey hound.

bulletWhat figures do the most walking?
bulletRoman numerals.

bulletHow do you get an elephant to follow you?
bulletAct like a nut.

bulletIf a king sits on gold, who sits on silver?
bulletThe lone ranger.

bulletWhat do bunnies say on January 1?
bulletHoppy new year.

GEORGE: What did you do in the test?

BILL: Nothing. I didn't write a word. What did you do?

GEORGE: I did nothing. I left the paper blank.

Bill: Oh no! The teacher will think that I've cheated from you!

bulletWhat kind of banks do alligators use?
bulletRiver banks.
bulletHow many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
bulletSix. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.

bulletMan:-Haven't I seen you someplace before?
bulletWoman:-Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

A boy called Nothing was walking with his 

friend called Crazy. Nothing fell in a hole. 

Crazy phoned the police and said, 

“Nothing fell in a hole!” 

“Are you crazy?” asked the police.

“How did you know!!!”

bulletWhat did the light bulb say to the switch?
bulletYou turn me on.

bulletHow many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
bulletFive. One to turn the bulb, and four to chase away the Californians who have come to relate to the experience.

bullet When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
bullet In a dictionary.

Wife: How much did this coat cost you, dear?

Husband: Three years of prison!

bulletMan:-Is this seat empty?
bulletWoman:-Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

bulletWhat has four wheels and flies?
bulletA garbage truck.

bullet How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
bullet Fifty. Fifty? Yeah, fifty! It's in the contract!

George: If there are 25 students 

and one will be absent how many

will there be in your class?

Bill: I don't know because I will be absent for sure!!

bullet What do you call a chicken crossing the road?
bullet Poultry in motion. .

Man:-Your place or mine?

Woman:-Both. You go to your place, and I'll go to mine.

bullet Why is a calendar so sad?
bullet Because its days are numbered.

bullet-Why did the monkey fall out of a tree? 
bullet -Because he was dead.

bullet How many straight, normal San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
bullet Both of them.

bulletWhat do you call it when one cat sues another?
bulletA clawsuit.

bullet Man:-I would go to the end of the world for you.
bullet Woman:-Yes, but would you stay there?

bullet-Why did the coat fall out of the tree?
bullet-Because it was stuck to the monkey.

bullet Why did the jelly role?
bullet Because it saw the apple turn over.

bulletHow many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
bulletTwo. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old one was.

bulletDid you hear about the depressed archaeologist?
bulletHis life was in ruins.

bullet -Why did the tree fall over?
bullet -Because it thought it was a game!

bullet Man:-May I have the last dance?
bullet Woman:-You've just had it.

bulletWhat's better than a talking dog?
bulletA spelling bee.

bulletHow many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
bulletNone. The light bulb will change itself when it is ready.

George: I have a plan to run away from prison!

Bill: What is it?

George: We punch the policeman and run away.

When George and Bill went out, they didn't find policeman.

George: Oh no! The plan failed!

bulletMan:-I'd go through anything for you.
bulletWoman:-Let's start with your bank account.

bullet What has two arms but can't raise them?
bullet a chair.

bullet How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb?
bullet Three. One to change the bulb, one to witness, and one to shoot the witness.

Dad: I usedto work in Christmas 

as Santa Clause but they sacked me.

Son: Why are you happy?

Dad: It was full of presents!